BTS Gets Dirty

Pimpin' Pee Wee (2009) aka Porky's: The College Years
Dir - Brian Trenchard-Smith
BTSNAT 2.5

Our eighth and final film turned out to be Brian Trenchard-Smith's (mostly) unreleased Porky's installment that, due to legal reasons, goes by the name Pimpin' Pee Wee. We got a DVD of the unreleased film from BTS himself and it is dirty, funny and one of the better sex comedies I've seen as of late. One of the characters has a giant schlong and he spouts inane phrases to chicks like "talk to the gland." It stays pretty close to the subgenre's conventions but manages to maintain the laughs and have a lot of boobies - and that's all anyone really wants from this type of flick.

Bonus Fun Fact: This movie implores the best penis transitions between scenes!

"That's for Spiro Agnew!"

Pledge Night (1990) aka A Hazing in Hell
Dir - Paul Ziller
BTSNAT 2.5

now it was time for my pick! Unfortunately we had technical difficulties with what I brought and I was forced to use my back-up. It's all good though, because this is a fun slasher that no one had seen or heard of and it went over rather well. The first half of the film is just a bunch of hazing of fraternity pledges with degrading acts like eating worms, paddling, picking up cherries in their butt cheeks and drinking gross concoctions. When they get their "shakes" they try to decide what to do with it and one of the group suggests "maybe we can stick it up our assholes." They say there aren't any bad ideas in brainstorming but... damn. The last act has some crazy killing courtesy of a demon hippie spouting 60s themed one-liners. You're welcome.

Bonus Fun Fact: Anthrax frontman Joey Belladonna plays the killer in a flashback before his accident and supposedly Cassandra "Elvira" Peterson is a party girl in one scene, but I cant find her.

"My Knees Are All Twanked"

The Search for Animal Chin (1987)
Dir - Stacy Peralta
BTSNAT 2.5

Our next feature was from Noah's wife Jenni (@jenni7283) and it was a fun treasure. This is the first skateboard video to have a plot. Now, when I say plot I mean to say a very thin plot-like structure surrounded by a bunch of awesome skating. It's about a bunch of skaters searching for Animal Chin, an old Chinese man who created skateboarding. Awesome! This has some of the big names of the time like Steve Caballero, Mike McGill, Lance Mountain, and the one most people will recognize, Tony Hawk. There is some good skating, bitchin' crazy dialog and a really weird kata/aerobic skating exercise they all do in their hotel room together - shirtless, of course.

Bonus Fun Fact: This little gem is now on DVD and, supposedly, Blu-Ray as well. Fan-tastic.

Sergei Loves ALL Women

The Final Sanction (1990)
Dir - David Prior
BTSNAT 2.5

Movie number five came from our participant from the farthest away, Jay (@sleestakk), who flew down from Chicago for our marathon. Awesome! He brought this little gem on VHS featuring the action chops of Ted Prior against Robert Z'Dar (Maniac Cop) in a one-on-one battle to the death for their respective countries - those being USA and Russia respectively. Why? Who the hell knows?! For these guys being such "great soldiers" neither one of them can aim a gun for shit. Ted has plenty of time to lay on the charm and show off his chiseled physique and that's what he does best.

Bonus Fun Fact: This is the third David and Ted Prior film I've watched in the past two-and-a-half weeks. The others are Sledgehammer and Aerobicide.

This is a Town I Will Never Visit

Naked Vengeance (1985)
Dir - Cirio H. Santiago
BTSNAT 2.5

Following the utter insanity was our host for the marathon, Brian (@BTSjunkie). This is actually one of the rape/revenge flicks that was on my list to watch soon so it's nice to get that out of the way. Basically a woman's husband dies, she goes to stay with her parents in a town full of sexual deviants and gets gang raped and her parents are killed. Then comes the revenge, if you couldn't tell. It follows the I Spit on Your Grave model very closely (with a bit of a bigger budget) but, then again, I guess most films of this subgenre do. It's shocking how every man our poor woman encounters in this town tries to get her in the sack within a few minutes, as if they've never seen a female before. There are some pretty brutal moments in this film but they are well deserved.

Bonus Fun Fact: Deborah Tranelli, from the TV show Dallas stars as the victim and also sings the main pop-ballad that's played multiple times throughout the film - "Still Got a Love". I searched all over the interwebs to find a copy to put on the blog but couldn't find one. Sorry.

Longest. Exercise Scene. Ever.

Science Crazed (1991)
Dir - Ron Switzer
BTSNAT 2.5

This was a satellite pick by Josh (@VHSisthetruth) who was unable to join us this go-round. He filmed an intro to the movie and right away we knew we were in for trouble. Everything he said about this was true, both the good and bad. I'm not sure what someone saw in this initially to buy it and release it on VHS but I'm glad they did! If not we would be without this puzzling flick. There are very few scenes and probably around 40 or so minutes of actual footage but the director stretched it out to feature length. This results in tons of recycled footage and cuts back and forth between said footage in a seemingly never-ending loop of chaos. By about ten minutes in at least three people in the crew watching these films got up because they were going to "need more beer for this."  Zero scares, very little blood and a lot of grunting in the all ADR'd soundtrack. It could be seen as terrible by some and brilliant by others. Very unique and one of the films everyone had a blast watching.

Bonus Fun Fact: There is a scene in a video store where you can see a promo item for the film The Boy Who Could Fly that is a kite brandishing the title. Sweet.

Hard Livin'

Payday (1973)
Dir - Daryl Duke
BTSNAT 2.5

Second film of the day/night came from Micah (@ReelDistraction) and, as any of us could have guessed, it was a film from the 70s. Heh. This features Rip Torn as hard living country musician who's always on the road, always drunk/drugged and facing some serious problems. This film has a lot of grittiness that only certain directors in the 70s could provide. Torn gives one of the best performances I've seen of him, probably rivaled only by his role in The Man Who Fell to Earth. Another standout performance goes to his driver/bodyguard/cooking enthusiast Chicago (Cliff Emmich). This guys cracks me up and has a great dialog with one of Torn's women all about omelette pans that is not to be missed. At times this can be a funny film (it does have the most gratuitous McDonald's product placement outside of Mac & Me) but it's mostly pretty damn serious and tells a great tale.

Bonus Fun Fact: Many of the country songs in the film were written by Shel Silverstein!

Play to Win

Scavenger Hunt (1979)
Dir - Michael Schultz
BTSNAT 2.5

To initiate the uninitiated, BTSNAT (BTS Numb-A-Thon) is our lovely, now, biannual movie marathon that is all attendee programmed, kept secret (as much as possible) until right before the film and is capped off with film directed byt the namesake - Mr. Brian Trenchard-Smith. This year we did 8 total films, starting around 2pm and ending just before 4:30am. Glad to say I never fell asleep once and everything was great! Now, on with the films...

First up was Noah's (@noahphex) pick, a comedy he watched many times as a younger cinephile. This is a fun flick with a great ensemble cast (Cloris Leachman, Cleavon Little, Roddy McDowall, Tony Randall, Willie Aames, Richard Mulligan and many more) all going for the $200 million inheritance from board game magnate Milton Parker (HA!). As with everything else in his life this is a game, a scavenger hunt. Whoever can amasse the most points by the end of the day gets the whole enchilada! Things get crazy and the jokes come fast and furious. Really fun times with this one and a whole boatload of fairly offensive racist jokes.

Bonus Fun Fact: There is a cameo by Meat Loaf as a tough biker. Unfortunately for him, thanks to the clips I've seen on The Soup recently now I can't look at the man without picturing him screaming and crying like a two-year-old over some "stolen" art supplies. Sigh.