Not So Beasty

Beasties (1991)
Dir - Steven Paul Contreras
Horror Movie Night


Check out my full review over at Horror's Not Dead!

Can You Dig It?

The Human Tornado (1976)
Dir- Cliff Roquemore
Weird Wednesday


This is only my second Dolomite movie and it's just as fascinating as the other, Disco Godfather. This film has a lot of awesome to it from Rudy Ray's stand-up at the beginning, to the crazy white mafia basement shenanigans, and the clothes. Holy crap, the clothes! Someday I will make millions by releasing the Dolomite Collection and selling exclusively to gullible hipsters.

Bring Out Yer Cats

The Carrier (1988)
Dir - Nathan J. White
Horror Movie Night


You can check out my full write-up over at Horror's Not Dead.com!

Third Time's a Charm

Tales of the Third Dimension (1984)
Dir - Worth Keeter, Thom McIntyre, Earl Owensby

This is a mid-eighties horror anthology flick made in 3D. Of course the copy we watched was not in 3D. Aside from the cool wrap around which features a Rod Serling skeleton and a set of five vultures carrying the personalities of Laurel, Hardy and all three Stooges (inexplicable but amazing), the stories are pretty lame and boring.

Until you get to the third and final tale.

The last story finds a couple of kids dropped of at grandma's for Christmast while their parents go out of town for a few day. One problem - grandma's fucking crazy! She goes psycho and tries to kill everyone. I laughed so hard I was coughing and seeing cartoon stars. This segment will be watched by me during the holidays from here on out. I doth proclaim!

Going Down?

The Shaft (2001) aka Down
Dir - Dick Maas

Check out my thoughts HERE on Horror's Not Dead!

What's in the Drawer?

The Magic Christmas Tree (1964)
Dir - Richard C. Parish
Weird Wednesday

There are no words. See this at all costs and make it a holiday tradition as I have these last few years. Truly magical.

Right Jolly Old Elf

Sint (2010)
Dir - Dick Maas
Horror Movie Night

Check out my full review HERE on Horror's Not Dead!

Mmmm... Gemser...

Women's Prison Massacre (1983) aka Emmanuelle in Prison
Dir - Bruno Mattei
Weird Wednesday

Not the best WIP I've ever seen, but certainly not the worst. Great VHS cover (as seen above) and you really can't go wrong with the lovely Laura Gemser. Drool.

Wanna Go to a Party?

Society (1989)
Dir - Brian Yuzna
Horror Movie Night

Check out my full thoughts HERE on Horror's Not Dead!

JTT + Santa = Awesome

I'll Be Home for Christmas (1998)
Dir - Arlene Sanford
Xmas Insanity 2011

The last XI film is one from Disney starring the Teen Beat heartthrob Jonathan Taylor Thomas and a young Jessica Biel fresh from the set of 7th Heaven. JTT makes a less impressive Santa than Hulk Hogan did last year in Santa with Muscles, but it's still pretty great. Can't really remember too much that I want to say about this, besides the fact that Gary Cole (!) is in it, but there is a pretty chart topping late 90's soundtrack - complete with Smash Mouth poster! Shudder.

Those Damned Liberals

Christmas with a Capital C (2011)
Dir - Helmut Schleppi
Xmas Insanity 2011

I've been waiting over a year to see this, ever since I saw the first trailer on YouTube. This is a Christian made family drama about the horrible "war on Christmas" that everyone is always so worried about. Ted McGinely plays a small Alaskan town mayor that is mostly Christian and a prodigal resident returns from the big city now ready to fight the public Christmas display and wanting to get rid of their beloved holiday (played by professional Alec Baldwin impersonator, Daniel Baldwin).

First you have to realize this is a movie based on a song, that was based on a stand-up routine by a Christian comic. It's not good and VERY one-sided - not that I expected any different. The liberal is made out to be the bad guy and everything is happy in the end. It's as bad as I hoped and unintentionally funny. A good time to have with a beer or two.

Side note: While watching I found that the comedian who is one of the co-stars is also in another Christian family film dealing with abortion. This will be watched ASAP!!!

Toothbrush Attack!

B-Robo Kabutack: The Epic Christmas Battle (1997)
Dir - ???
Xmas Insanity 2011

Our first move of XI was an epic kid's show from Japan and their hourlong "holiday themed" episode. I put that in quotes because there's very little to do with Christmas. It kind of seems like an afterthought. The joy of this Power Rangers-esque show is the shark robot named, appropriately enough, Sharkler. His weapon of choice is a giant toothbrush. How cool is that?!

A weird show with crazy Japanese antics you would expect and a female Santa who rides around on a flying surfboard.

I. Must. Find. This series.

Cyborg? More Like Cy-bored

Mutant Hunt (1987)
Dir - Tim Kincaid
Horror Movie Night

Read my full thoughts HERE on Horror's Not Dead!

Business Ladies

The Working Girls (1974)
Dir - Stephanie Rothman
Weird Wednesday

Great little exploitation flick about a group of girls, their sordid relationships and how they earn a buck. Probably most famous for having Cassandra Peterson in her pre-Elvira days plays a stripper who goes topless. Something so memorable that one of the alternate titles of the film is Elvira Naked. A very nice scene indeed.

Unexpected Devil Birth

Creepozoids (1987)
Dir - David DeCoteau
Horror Movie Night

Read my full thoughts HERE on Horror's Not Dead!

No Capes Here

Abar, The First Black Superman (1977)
Dir - Frank Packard

I honestly don't remember too much about this one. That's what I get for waiting weeks before entering it in this blog. Sigh.

However, there is some pretty atrocious acting (especially with the kids) and there is little-to-no attempt at masking the "message" of the film. Two outstanding moments have to do with one of the kids calling the other a "watusi wobbler", whatever the fuck that is, and the other is the shocking revelation at the very end of the film. Speechless.

Death, Death, and More Death

Chromeskull: Laid to Rest 2 (2011)
Dir - Robert Hall

Some great gore and a few interesting ideas.

Read my full thoughts HERE on Horror's Not Dead.

Death and Boats

Moon in Scorpio (1987)
Dir - Gary Graver
Horror Movie Night

Check out my full thoughts HERE on Horror's Not Dead!

Slasher Classic

The Burning (1981)
Dir - Tony Maylam

The second of our summer camp slashers and it's one of the best. Though there are a few slow moments everything in this movie is wonderful. Also the standard DVD of this from MGM looks fantastic, probably more so that it has a right to. Great stuff.

You're Just What I've Been Looking For

Sleepaway Camp (1983)
Dir - Robert Hiltzik

Took this over to Micah's because he and Melissa wanted to watch it and neither had ever seen it. Such a great movie, one of my all time faves. I love Angela and Ricky so much - and the crazy mother/aunt even more!

Best. Ending Shot. Ever.